Saturday, May 7, 2011

Evolution through Marriage

I've made it a point to not talk about my husband in these posts until now for different reasons. The most important reason is that he didn't sign up for this, and I believe that it is never one's place to speak on behalf of their significant other (or any other for that matter.) But this is one I have to share. And if he finds out and kills me later or makes me delete this, well at least you got to read it. Tell my son mommy loved him.

My husband and I have long been on opposite ends of the political spectrum. There was a time, long before we were together that our opinions could be easily predicted. It didn't take much to guess where we stood on issues like gun control and the environment which typically split right down the liberal v. conservative camps. We're passionate people to say the least so some find it odd that a far left liberal, socialist sympathizer (that would be me) and a republican would have ever given each other the time of day. Well folks, someone has got to sleep with the enemy for intel. Why not take one for the team? I'm joking of course. The truth is that aside from politics we have a lot in common. Our compassion for people, our respect for conviction, our similar backgrounds, all shaped us into people with core values that we did find on the same page.

Once we were together election years were intensely quiet in our house. We knew where we stood, but politics weren't important enough to either one of us to create a riff. We've been together now for 13yrs. Lately I've become inspired to get more involved or at least educated about grass roots politics. Becoming a parent has invoked a different passion for it. I was always concerned with activism and participating in the voice of the people, but back then it was more about principle. Now I'm a parent and feel I have a vested interest in the world around me and my family. The politics of the Obama administration and the age of the Tea Party have made for some interesting debates. We've found ourselves changing the channel to avoid getting riled up over discord outside our home. He believes "it's just politics" which isn't something worth a fight. I don't think it's worth an argument either, but I have a hard time being dismissive about it. I admit I was starting to wonder in the back of my mind if this was going to evolve into an issue between us. Then it happened. An epiphany.

We happened to catch a news story about some graduate students at UC Irvine who were arrested for being disruptive during a speech given by an Israeli ambassador. The fascist pigs - er, officers - interviewed stated that the students were impeding on the 1st Amendment right of the Israeli. *GASP* As my fists clenched and my blood began to boil, I bit my tongue. Then to my unbelievable delight hubby blurts out "That's bullshit! Those are good kids!" He went on a rant of his own about how wrong it was to silence intelligent, passionate youth who see something wrong with the the world and want to change it. I stared at him, then giggled and wipe a pretend tear of pride from my eye. In that moment we realized how much we've influenced each other, and have evolved over time.

Not only does he feel for the voice of the youth, but yours truly allows firearms in the house. Yup. It goes both ways. While hubby recycles, I tag along with my brother to the gun range. (well OK that happened only once, but excuse me I'm trying to paint a picture here!) It could be argued by both sides that we've "gotten soft." (I'm aware that "gotten" isn't a word but I'm using it anyways. My apologies.) Maybe we're just all confused, fucked up people now. Meh...who cares. We've been together so long that we can't help but look through the prism from the other's perspective. When you're with someone for that long, you don't just look through the prism once. You look again and again and sometimes maybe you forget which angle you started from but it doesn't matter because what you see feels right. Next thing you're both looking though it together from completely different angles yet somehow seeing the same thing. This goes far beyond politics. It's with everything. It certainly doesn't mean that we've adopted all of each other's sentiments. Of course not. That would be boring!

I suppose this wasn't really a rant. In fact, I kinda did a 180 and got all mushy on y'all. I've already used "gotten" and "kinda" so why not a "y'all" - don't worry, I won't resort to "ain't." That's where I draw the line.

Here's an update on those Muslim students, if you're interested. Graduate students and professors from other UC campuses have chosen to stand in solidarity with them. Fuckin' beautiful, like the voice of the people should be.

Peace. Love. and yadda yadda yadda...

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